Falling Sun
by Breaking.Down.Slowly
Summary: How did Edward ever decide to leave Bella?


**Just another one shot, trying my hand at 1st perspecitve Edward. The song is called "Hush" by Automatic Loveletter. Gorgeous song that I suggest you listen to.**

**Song, characters, and story source are not mine.**

She slept peacefully, never stirring and never realizing what was going on around her. This was how she usually slept, but why couldn't she just make a sound or some sort of movement? Assure me that she is disturbed? That she doesn't want me anymore? Why can't you do that for me? Die for me, you'll do in a moment, but ensure your safety? Never.

I let my face fall into my hands, the heels of my palms digging into my eyes. Such a little minx., always too tempting for her own good. Didn't she see how bad this was for her? How bad _I_ was for her? Couldn't she just come to her senses about this?

_This is as quiet as it gets  
hush down now  
go to sleep  
we were once perfect me and you  
will never leave this room_

What happened on her birthday could never happen again. Never be even risked or thought about. She could've died and it would have been my fault for bringing her into this world - my world. She didn't belong with us. She deserved better than this life, constantly in fear and with such monsters all the time. No, I loved her too much to allow that to happen.

I lifted my head and watched the gentle rise and fall of her chest with each slow, steady breath. The way her full lips were slightly parted and observed how messy her hair was in sleep, chuckling softly to myself. Her eyes were firmly, yet lightly, closed. She looked like an angel. She _was_ an angel.

_H H H Hush  
you color my eyes red  
your loves not live its dead  
this letters written itself inside out again  
when rivers turn to roads and lovers become trends_

I didn't want to leave her, yet another sign it was time. I should never have let myself get so attached. Even if I left myself be selfish enough to stay, I still would've had to let her go eventually when she died. It was better this way, so much better. She could have a full life with kids and a proper husband, a good job and house somewhere warm and sunny like Phoenix. She deserved that kind of life. She deserved everything good and wonderful, not the love and devotion of a monster that couldn't go bathe in the sun with her or give her children. I could never give her the life she deserved.

"Edward." She sighed, the small exhale blowing a strand of hair from her face, before settling back on her cheek. I stood from my chair and moved to kneel by the bed. Caressing her high cheekbone with my knuckles, I moved the hair from her pale complexion.

_This is the calming before the storm  
this absolution is always incomplete  
its always bittersweet_

I moved a finger to trace over her lips, then her eyes, following the trail of her nose before outlining her jaw. The epitome of perfection and she chooses me? Unacceptable. I would have to change her train of thought for her. I would have to make her turn me away….but how would I do that?

I stood quickly, pacing back and forth in hopes the movement would cause some new idea to occur to me, but with no such luck. What would walking do? Walking just moved me from place to place. Pacing just moved me in circles. I needed more than that.

I felt the walls of the room closing in, her scent surrounding me to the point of helplessness. I had to escape, get out of here before I could never leave and save her soul. I jumped at the window, landing soundlessly on the grass below, and took in a deep breath to calm my senses.

_H H H Hush  
you color my eyes red  
your loves not live its dead  
this letters written itself inside out again  
when rivers turn to roads and lovers become trends  
H H H Hush this is where it ends_

How childish of me. Running away from the problem at hand. Coming up with excuses and hallucinations. I wasn't a child anymore. These kind of things were unacceptable. I've run away from her before and it did nothing when I came back. It made things worse. Coming back got me into this.

But what if I didn't come back? If I said my good byes, had the family pack up and leave forever. What were the chances I would see her again anyway? She was human, her emotions and memories of me would fail eventually.

And why not help the process? I could take away everything I've given her, any evidence I have. Or at least I could hide it from her. Taking it away would be simply cruel. And the family would be gone too, so she couldn't beg them for information.

And Victoria. I could try my hand at tracking her down and killing her. It would occupy my time and save her from any harm from my world. She would never be involved in it again.

I hopped back through her window, finally having a plan. It would work. It had to for her sake.

_I won't make a sound so you don't wake  
don't wake don't wake you don't wake you don't wake_

I sat back in my chair, feeling a small smile of relief take over my face as I observed her in sleep again. She would be safe. From me and everything in my world that has endangered her. Though it would be the end of my life and the starting again of my simple, meaningless existence, she came first. She always came first.

"Edward?" She called out softly in her sleep. I walked to her side, hesitating as I did, then lay behind her on the bed.

"Forgive me my love for what I am going to do to you. You must understand that what I do is for you. All of it is always for you. I will stay until my family has left and then I will follow them. It is for your own good. I will always love you, even after you're gone." I murmured in her ear. She shivered from the cold breath on her skin.

_Hush  
you color my eyes red  
your loves not live its dead  
this letters written itself inside out again  
when rivers turn to roads and lovers become trends  
H H H Hush this is where it ends  
you color my eyes red  
your loves not live its dead  
this letters written itself inside out again  
when rivers turn to roads and lovers become trends_

"My actions and my words will all be lies from now on, but please believe them. I need to let you be safe and happy with someone who truly deserves you. I will always love you. Good bye my Bella."

_H H H Hush this is where it ends  
This is where it ends_


End file.
